Making Memories – Taking Pickle to The Big Apple Circus
1. Figure it will take you an hour to get into Boston. Leave an extra 30-45 minutes to get to the 6:30pm show
2. Pick up Pickle from school. Lose 5 of those extra minutes debating the merits of your parking location at school… with a nearly-three-year-old… for the third time this week.
3. Have a nice dinner. But eat quickly – better safe than sorry.
4. Hit the road.
5. Realize that you were a moron to think that 30-45 minutes extra was enough.
6. Pull into a closed truck weight station so Pickle can use the Potette potty in the back of the car. Realize you shouldn’t have let him drink an entire pink lemonade at dinner.
7. Hit traffic. Not a big surprise, but not a lot of extra time left. Fear you will be late to the show.
8. Sit in traffic. Wonder why. Realize there is a Celtics playoff game at the Garden. Know you will be late to the show.
9. Answer Pickle’s question, “Are we there yet?” 15 times.
10. Finally get to city. Follow directions lady on GPS is giving you, even though husband who has printed off directions isn’t so sure GPS lady is right.
11. Answer Pickle’s question, “Are we at the circus?” 32 times.
12. Start to feel like GPS lady may be leading you in the wrong direction as you crawl past Fenway. Where there is a home game. Know you will be very late to the show.
13. Pull over, double parked, hazards flashing, to let Pickle pee again, in the back of the car. He mostly pees on the floor and your hand, but avoids his clothing, so you consider this a win.
14. Resign yourself to potentially missing the show in its entirety.
15. Finally recognize, at 6:40pm, that GPS lady is leading you to Somerset Road, and not Somerset Street.
16. Answer Pickle’s question, “Is this the circus?” – asked 19 times – with an honest, “Yes.”
17. Turn around.
18. Arrive at parking garage. Valet park because everything is confusing. And rush towards the circus.
19. Hooray! The circus!
20. Wait to go in, so Pickle can go pee again.
21. See one performer.
22. Cheer quietly to yourself when the woman and three children in the seats behind you arrive even later than you did.
24. Buy Pickle a blinking, spinning, magic wand souvenir because he wants one, but mostly because you only have $20′s and will be damned if you have to tip the valet $20.
25. Second act begins. Clowns. Pickle asks, “Can I go home?”
26. Pickle rallies, and enjoys the next 2.5 acts.
27. Pickle and Dad go to pee.
28. Enjoy the aerialist, while the boys are peeing. Enjoy cyclists, while boys are peeing. Be quietly thankful that you missed the contortionist act.
29. Wonder what is taking boys so long.
30. Receive emergency text from Dad. Pickle has peed all over his pants and undies.
31. Save the day, by bringing extra set of undies and pants to Dad and Pickle. Who are yelling/panicking in a large, dark port-a-potty. Both are very excited to see you.
32. Pat self on back for putting extra pants/undies in purse. Super Mom!
33. Return to seats. For final bows.
34. Leave the circus, approximately one hour after arrival.
35. Cross the street in front of a big, shiny fire truck full of fire fighters who all wave to Pickle. He is thrilled. He points his blinking wand at them.
36. Return to garage. Tip valet. Give Pickle special treat – a cupcake! – before hitting the road.
37. Run a red light leaving the city. Worry that the cops have nabbed you until you recognize that the flashing blue lights are actually Pickle’s wand.
38. Confuse Pickle’s wand for police/ambulance lights at least 4 more times on the ride home.
39. Arrive home and carry a warm, sleeping boy to his bed.
40. Realize that early memories start some time around 3 or 4 years old, so Pickle won’t remember this night anyway. And if he does, he will likely remember the pink lemonade, the fire fighters, and the cupcake.
41. Accept that for $250, you got a whole lot of adventure, a great time with Pickle and not a whole lot of circus. But fall asleep thinking that all in all, it was a very, very good night.
42. Dream of top hats, oompah bands, and high wire acts.