But not girl pink, ew yucky pink.
I get pink eye, conjunctivitis, yucky eye goo. I get it at least once a year. Some people get strep when their immune system gets weak, some get cold sores. Me? I get pink eye.
Usually it starts from my allergies. Or my cat sleeping on my face. Or me being overtired. Or one of the 100 kids at my son’s daycare.
Besides the itchiness and goopiness, the most annoying part is THAT I HAVE PINK EYE. This is only about one step above LICE on the scale of icky yucky contagiousness. I feel like typhoid Mary. I usually I try to stay out of work lest I be shunned and scorned for spreading my contagious yuckiness. But sometimes, like today, I have to work. And today when I worked I made the situation worse – I LIED. And I don’t even know why! Perhaps to avoid the words, PINK and EYE. And big scarlet letters “P” and “E” being emblazoned on my chest.
I told one girl I stabbed myself with a mascara wand.
I told someone else I had allergies.
I told someone else a bird pooped in my eye.
Okay, I didn’t say that last one.
Next time I’ve got the goop going on, I’m coming clean. No more lies. I’ve got to own up to these stupid weak eyes and just say it, “Yeah, I’ve got pink eye. Again. And I’ve been rubbing my eye all over your phone, the copier, the door handles, the sink handles, and your purse. Wanna make something of it?”