My brother-in-law couldn’t understand how people with kids all of a sudden lost their ability to be social, and socially appropriate. Then he had a baby and realized that he was texting photos of poop to his friends. Yup. Sounds about right. Yes, gauche and gross, but currently it is our reality so here goes…
In honor of the GI bug epidemic sweeping my state and my household, I bring you “Things I Believe – the Tummy Bug Installment.”
1. If television commercials are any indicator, this country has 2 epidemics – a) occasional gastrointestinal irregularity (which can, thankfully be solved by yogurt) and b) toilet paper sticking to people’s bums.
2. Sometimes, after arriving home after a very long day (out of the house at 7am, home at 10pm, while 8 months pregnant and still recovering from a mean, mean stomach bug) it is best to pretend you don’t see the toys, and stuff, and dishes, and more stuff scattered around the house that would normally drive you crazy, and instead choose to see the fabulous, caring man, partner and father sleeping in your bed. Priorities, ya know?
3. After a mean, mean stomach bug (7 pounds gone in 7 hours – ouchers is right!) your body may tell you that you want an Italian sub, steak, loaded baked potato and a cupcake. Your body is lying.
4. Sometimes no amount of hand sanitizer or disinfectant wipes can help.
5. Even if toddler loves milk, ease off for a few days after his little tummy is upset. He may love it, but it won’t love him back. Trust me on this one.
Something less gross next time… I promise.