You know that stomach bug from a while back? Yeah, it is still rearing its ugly head. Thankfully, my household is well, however it has taken a firm hold of my mother who has since developed diverticulitis, which has developed into an abscess on her colon. She needs surgery. Probably this week.
I’ll admit, I feel bad. I feel bad, not just because she’s sick, and needs surgery and that is scary, but because I’m a little too tough and suggested she “suck it up” or “walk it off” a few times too many. Although I didn’t use those terms exactly. But I am not nice enough when it comes to that kind of thing.
I also feel bad, literally, because I ate a McDonald’s hash brown this morning. What a terrible idea. I’m blaming pregnancy cravings, and need no convincing to never eat one of those things again. They aren’t good. They are barely edible. And one big lump of greasy potatoes is now lingering in my stomach and making me nauseous. Lovely.
Warning: major whiner alert.
I also feel bad because I feel selfish. While I want my mom to be healthy and well, it is hard for me stop thinking about the wrenches this has thrown into my life and schedule. Work is crazy; I’m revving up for maternity leave, and the rest of my workload hasn’t stopped (did I get a 21 item to-do list today from a boss? I did.) Tax season is hard when you’re married to a CPA. Tax season is harder when you’re married to a CPA, have a toddler to wrangle and work full time. Tax season is even harder when you’re married to a CPA, have a toddler to wrangle, work full time and are 9 months pregnant. So yeah. The wrench of a parental surgery is hard too. Especially since Mom is scheduled to provide some childcare in the next few weeks and when baby arrives. Thankfully, we have other family around – and they are helpful and awesome. Thankfully, the surgery will be pretty minor. Thankfully, I am not due to pop for 4 weeks (though Mr. Pickle Pumpkin was born at 37+ weeks, so…). Thankfully, daycare is flexible, and he can drop in if we need him to. I’ll admit, in the grand scheme of things, the wrench is small, and the thankfulness is large.
But today is Monday, perspective comes a little harder, and I just had to cancel the 2 things I was really looking forward to before baby arrives and I become a sleep-deprived human milk machine for the next few months – a haircut and a pedicure. And – adding insult to injury – I have gift certificates for both. Somehow I felt like labor and delivery would be a little better if I could look down into those stirrups and see pretty pink toes peeking back. And fitting in mama haircuts has become a near impossibility. I’m not looking like a featured photo on “People of Walmart” yet, but it is getting close.
So… today’s goals?
– Allow myself a bit of frustration and stress
– Buy some clips or ponytail holders or something to tame the madness
– Go eat some Tums and drink a cup of peppermint tea. Urg.
– Cross at least 7 items off of my to-do list
– Keep some perspective