Things I am feeling bad about:
- My thank you note tardiness. They are officially too late. Booooo.
- The lack of time spent simply sitting and holding Plum Bee. I always promise myself that tomorrow I’ll sit, and sing, and rock more, and try to DO less. Didn’t I post a poem a while back? About babies not keeping? I’m going to invent a word that ends with an exclamation point that means “a directive to oneself to take one’s own advice”. Something like “FRACKENZAP!”
- My shortness towards my overworked, overtired husband.
- Breast-feeding, or the lack of breast-feeding. Plum Bee hates my boobs. Or just prefers the ease of the bottle. I’m trying to avoid the mommy guilt that follows me around every bend… more on this later.
- The lack of healthy, hot meals I’ve been eating. (Why don’t I feel like actually eating those freezer meals I worked so hard to make??)
- My post-baby stomach. Argh.
- How much I’ve needed to rely on my mother-in-law. She’s amazing. And I’ve only made it through these 4 weeks with her help.
Things I am feeling good about:
- The new arrangement of my living room. I know they say to sleep when the baby does, but the other day I decided rearranging furniture by myself was more important than sleep. I don’t regret it.
- The 2am feeding when we get to cuddle quietly and she goes back to sleep immediately (which certainly helps me to feel good about it).
- Mr. Pickle Pumpkin. He is thriving in his new room at daycare. He is gentle and amazing with his sister. He is sweaty, silly, growing in all ways; he is my heart.
- The keeping-track-of-baby app on my new phone. So helpful. And addictive. When did I last change a poopy diaper? 1:16 ago! Because it is extremely important to note these things, and track them obsessively. (That last sentence should be in the sarcasm font.)
- The fact that tax season is almost over. So close. So… close…
- Plum Bee. She is a growing, bright-eyed, squeaky little girl. I worry sometimes that I don’t love her enough yet. Of course, I love her, but I’m still getting to know her. It is a marvelous discovery, getting to know this new, intense little person. Amazing.
- My stunner of a niece, born on Sunday. And being able to support my sister as she embarks on the whole mommyhood adventure.
Note: Please forgive my recent reliance on lists. I’m tired. Really tired. I’ll be back to my typical long-winded style shortly. Lucky you.