Good, Bad and Frackenzap!

Things I am feeling bad about:

  • My thank you note tardiness. They are officially too late.  Booooo.
  • The lack of time spent simply sitting and holding Plum Bee.  I always promise myself that tomorrow I’ll sit, and sing, and rock more, and try to DO less.  Didn’t I post a poem a while back?  About babies not keeping?  I’m going to invent a word that ends with an exclamation point that means “a directive to oneself to take one’s own advice”.  Something like “FRACKENZAP!”
  • My shortness towards my overworked, overtired husband.
  • Breast-feeding, or the lack of breast-feeding. Plum Bee hates my boobs.  Or just prefers the ease of the bottle.  I’m trying to avoid the mommy guilt that follows me around every bend… more on this later.
  • The lack of healthy, hot meals I’ve been eating. (Why don’t I feel like actually eating those freezer meals I worked so hard to make??)
  • My post-baby stomach. Argh.
  • How much I’ve needed to rely on my mother-in-law.  She’s amazing.  And I’ve only made it through these 4 weeks with her help.
Things I am feeling good about:
  • The new arrangement of my living room.  I know they say to sleep when the baby does, but the other day I decided rearranging furniture by myself was more important than sleep.  I don’t regret it.
  • The 2am feeding when we get to cuddle quietly and she goes back to sleep immediately (which certainly helps me to feel good about it).
  • Mr. Pickle Pumpkin.  He is thriving in his new room at daycare.  He is gentle and amazing with his sister.  He is sweaty, silly, growing in all ways; he is my heart.
  • The keeping-track-of-baby app on my new phone.  So helpful.  And addictive. When did I last change a poopy diaper?  1:16 ago!  Because it is extremely important to note these things, and track them obsessively.  (That last sentence should be in the sarcasm font.)
  • The fact that tax season is almost over. So close. So… close…
  • Plum Bee.  She is a growing, bright-eyed, squeaky little girl.  I worry sometimes that I don’t love her enough yet.  Of course, I love her, but I’m still getting to know her.  It is a marvelous discovery, getting to know this new, intense little person. Amazing.
  • My stunner of a niece, born on Sunday.  And being able to support my sister as she embarks on the whole mommyhood adventure.

Note: Please forgive my recent reliance on lists.  I’m tired.  Really tired.  I’ll be back to my typical long-winded style shortly. Lucky you.

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