I read this People headline twice:
First, I know you’re wondering… and yes, I occasionally read People. It’s like junk food for my brain. Nom nom nom.
Second. Heck! Why didn’t I read an article like this before I had kids?! I couldn’t wait to see what was on the list. Motherhood a breeze? Sign me up!
- A $46 onesie that looks like business attire. Because that makes sense. Poop, pee, spit up, drool be damned! Fancy kid onesies makes motherhood easier!
- A $1000 stroller system that boasts a rotating stroller seat so it is easier to put kiddos in and take them out. (Is it really that difficult?)
- Cloth diapers and a wipe warmer for cloth wipes. Don’t get me wrong, I think cloth dipes and wipes are awesome. And I’ve heard many mamas say they aren’t that much of a challenge, once you get the hang of it. But I’m not sure these make life a breeze for mamas.
- A $90 alarm clock/night-light/thermometer/noise machine/baby timer/bass-o-matic. The Serenity Star. Ah, I like the sound of that. And I’ll admit, this thing actually looks cool. I’m not sure it would actually make my life more breezy, but it might make me feel a little bit cooler owning it. And it’s cute.
- The $345 diaper bag. I don’t know about you, but life isn’t breezier if I feel like I have to spend a car payment on expensive bags to carry burp cloths and diapers.
To be fair, there’s some good stuff on the list too. Swaddles, some affordable layette gear, pacifiers, the Sleep Sheep (yup, we have and use one – but the mother’s heartbeat sound is creepy), and the Ergobaby, to name a few.
But, c’mon, really. Who writes these headlines?
Motherhood is great, and it is really hard for so many reasons. The suggestion that any of the items on the list will make motherhood a breeze is laughable. And I prickle at the constant message to moms that what it takes to parent well and with ease, is money and stuff.
In case you’re wondering, the length of your baby registry and the cuteness of the nursery does not translate to a blissful labor and delivery or a sweet-smelling, angelic baby who sleeps well.
So what would really make motherhood a breeze?
A cook? A maid? A nanny? Endless patience? Lots of money? A loving, involved supportive spouse? Extra hours in the day? Affordable, high quality child care? A sense of humor? Drugs, lots?
Sure some/all of these might help.
But really, motherhood isn’t a breeze because it isn’t supposed to be. It is hard, exhausting, fun, silly, and fascinating. And it is good most of the time, no matter what kind of diaper bag you have.
I still might get one of these though…