I have carved out a little cozy place in my house where I can sit and not see the mess. The mess is overtaking everything, as Christmas and all of the stuff that comes along with it explodes. And it is only going to get worse before it gets better.
Tonight, I can’t look at it, and I can’t think about it. Would it make me feel so much better to just take some time and clear the clutter? Probably. But I just don’t have it in me tonight, so I’ll sit and write and clear the clutter in my brain instead.
I need to figure out how to enjoy Christmas. All of it, or at least more of it. Not just that one magical moment when my children realize that Santa visited, in the twinkly tree light as the sun comes up on Christmas morning. I need more cuddles, more cozy, more gratitude, more calm. Come to think of it, I probably need more of those things all year round, but I digress. I also need more hot cocoa – preferably with Baileys in it. Because it’s the most wonderful time of the year, dangitall!
When someone tells you “You will eat your broccoli and you will like it!” it doesn’t actually make you like it. So telling myself, “You will be cheerful and enjoy the chaos!” doesn’t seem to be working.
Then again, people tell me that the more you exercise, the more you love it. And while some part of me thinks they’re crazy people trying to sneakily share their exercise-induced misery, I bet on some level that they’re right. So perhaps if I just wrap more, clean more, carol more, decorate more, and bake more, I will love all of those things more.
So instead I’ve developed a plan for bringing back the cheer…
- For me, gratitude is is harder when sleep is short. So that will be step one. Eight hours of sleep. A lofty goal, but Christmas is all about miracles, right? Mama will settle in for a long winter’s nap, once I find that silly kerchief.* And once I can get the kidlets to bed – a task that is getting more and more difficult by the week.
- “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Bruce (Springsteen – I figure my regular readers will know who I’m talking about when I refer to him only by his first name). It isn’t Christmas until I hear it. And I haven’t heard it yet. Ooh, now that I think about it, perhaps I’ll dig up some “Merry Christmas, Baby”, too. That one always improves my mood! Horns make me jolly.
- Ask Pickle about all of the people he will get to see in the upcoming week. Because when I do, he excitedly lists off the names of family members like reindeer. And his pure joy at getting to see aunts, uncles, and cousins is a great reminder of the love and family that we are surrounded by.
- Clean up the living room only, and sit with my husband – on the same couch! – in the quiet of the twinkly tree (with all of the non-toxic, chewable ornaments on the bottom). Maybe we’ll reflect on our year a bit. Maybe we’ll have a glass of wine. Maybe we won’t do either, and we’ll just be.
- Take a few quiet moments during my commute home to send good, loving thoughts to people I know and people I don’t know who are lonely or hurting or sad. And I’ll try to take an opportunity at some point to do something unexpected and loving for someone I don’t know. Because I still believe that good will, kindness and love are contagious and more necessary than ever.
I’ll let you know how it all goes.
– Sarky Claus
* I do believe that this is only the second time in my life that I’ve ever typed the word “kerchief.”